Chapter 2: Cities of Angels

Soundtrack: Chapelle Roan - Red Wine Supernova

May 2024. My life changed. A six (+) hour drive commenced from Atlanta to Jacksonville with all of my life possessions in a one size too small Uhaul and my Toyota Highlander hatched to the back, packed in a tetris-ed fashion so beautiful, it would make my brother’s high score proud.

If you ever find yourself longingly staring into space questioning what true love is - let me put an end to this mystery and doom scroll of unqualified people diagnosing your attachment styles. (Or is this just me?)

True love is your crew helping you pack up a Uhaul not once, but TWICE in less than a year. 

A friend flying from the opposite side of the coast for BOTH occasions without being asked, but simply knowing there was a big chance you were going to be a flaming hot mess.

Oh, and can’t forget - a friend driving said Uhaul the entirety of this first leg. Arguably part because we both wanted to live. 

That’s love I tell you.

As I watched the Atlanta skyline fade into the distance, it felt surreal that this chapter was coming to an end. Over the past six years, I fell in love with this city and with so many people in it. It was home to my most pivotal chapters to date. I loved, I lost, I grew up, and it gave me the biggest gift of all - my chosen family. Friends I’ve started businesses with, traveled with, had endless belly laughs, life talks, ugly cries, and dance parties with. 

We pulled into my dad’s driveway at 3:06am, a journey only brought to the finish line by my friend behind the wheel because you best believe I was a knocked out passenger princess. A good power nap later, we were woken up on the couch by my dad with lattes in hand, the man who graciously offered his garage as a free storage unit for the foreseeable future. 

I’m an emotional human. I’ve got enough feelings for an entire Love Island Villa bottled up in a 5”8’ body. 

There’s no sugar coating it. The year leading up to this was brutal. I thought my high school neon pants phase was rough, but the good ol’ trifecta of the loss of two dear loved ones, the end of a five-year relationship, and working nearly two full time jobs had left me spending most of 2023 in a daze. 

Unconditional love. 

A friend once asked if I believed I had unconditional love. Such a simple question might as well have been a pinball launched through my mind, the thought bouncing back and forth for months. What was unconditional love? Did I believe in unconditional love? (Do you? You can thank me for this existential spiral later.)

Nothing shows you the epitome of true unconditional love and who your people are more than when you’re having a good ol’ camp at rock bottom. 

‘Love is an action, not a word.’ My mom’s famous catchphrase growing up that my young attitude-filled self met with endless dramatic eyerolls like clockwork. Turns out she knew what she was talking about. I looked up and had somehow gathered an army who'd seen me at my worst - and yet, still continued to show up without so much as an ask. 

Exhibit A: Cue LA

I landed in Los Angeles at 9am, greeted by two of my best friends in front of the airport jumping out of the car and straight to smother me with hugs. 

The plan: spend a week in LA to squeeze some last precious friend time for the foreseeable future before jet setting to the down under. 

There is nothing more beautiful than a girls’ week. It’s a proven fact that I will go down arguing until the end of time. Every morning started with a walk to the bougie coffee shop around the corner with my friend’s two pups in hand. Sun beaming down. Not a care in the world. 

Each one of us were in pivotal places in our lives. All completely different, yet in mirroring chapters. It was strangely poetic. 

Being surrounded by these two forces of nature is never without a doubt inspiring. Both insanely talented, chasing their dreams, and authentically themselves. Two of the genuinely best humans I’m lucky enough to call friends. In these five days, I laughed harder than I had in ages. The type of laughing that was uncontrollable and brought pain to your cheeks. It was beautiful.

I questioned why I had been scared to make this leap for so long. Why I was constantly second guessing my personality. My sense of humor. My drive. My endless lists and life goals. My future plans. Why I felt the last year had left me a complete shell of a human I wasn’t sure I knew anymore. 

But in these precious moments surrounded by so much love - dancing until wee hours of the morning; sitting on the couch surrounded by Taco Bell, laughing until tears were streaming down our faces; getting lost skipping like a kid through Joshua Tree National Park with only one bottle of water to our names; having the deepest of life talks hiking up to the Hollywood sign - there were no questions.

After feeling stuck for the past two+ years, I had finally flipped the page. More like chucked that book into the fire and started drafting a fresh one. 

There’s nothing more powerful, yet terrifying, than the second you take charge of your story. 

If you’re reading this - DO IT. Finally chase that wild dream you keep putting off. Send that text you’re scared of. Say whatever bad joke comes to your mind unapologetically. Rock that outfit in your closet you haven’t built the courage to strut. Be your true authentic self. People will love you. Better yet - you will love you.

Important question for the people - are Taco Bell’s Cheese Roll Ups spicy?

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